I Shot Dean Winchester
by whywhydoyouneedmyusername
Summary: Sam, Dean, and Castiel get more than they bargained for when they break into a house full of girls
1. Chapter 1

I reached for the handgun under my pillow as I heard them stalking softly through my house. Moving slowly to not raise awareness, I grasped the cold handle. My eyes opened enough for small slits to appear. Through them, I made eye contact with my little sister, Evelyn. She twitched her nose three times. This was code for three people were in the house. Footsteps came closer, causing me to close my eyes and use my other senses.

One of them walked between Evie and me; the scent of manly soap following in his wake. Another set of steps could be felt walking behind me, in between our friend, Lace.

"Are you sure it's here, Cas?" An angry voice whispered. The second voice did not even both to whisper.

"Positive. We just have to search for it." His deep voice, and name, nagged something in the back of my head. I know I have heard that voice somewhere, but I could not put a face to the name or voice.

A small hiss came from one of them while another, different voice, whispered a response. "Do you have any idea where it is at?"

"Are you kidding me?" the first voice whispered back. "Something that valuable, they are probably _sleeping_ with it."

"So? Wake them up." Cas said.

"Hey!" Someone nudged my foot with theirs. "Wake up!"

Pushing off the floor with one hand, spinning me to my left, I had my gun trained on the man at the foot of my bed as I finished sitting up. On both sides of me, Lace and Eve had done the same. The guy at the foot of my sleeping bag raised both hands in the air, momentarily blinding me as his flashlight was raised with his hand. I could make out a gun in the other hand. Glancing to my left, I could see Lace was locked on a taller dude with longer hair than my target. However, unlike mine, Tall Guy had his gun pointed back. Making sure Evie was ok, I looked her way for an instant. I had to follow her line because she was not pointing that thing at the foot of her bed like the rest of us. Instead, it was looking like it was pointed at my guy until I saw the short man, shorter than the other two, behind the other guy.

"Whoa!" my target exclaimed.

Lace's was more of a challenge. "Drop the weapon!" He demanded. I could hear her snort and cock her gun. I wanted to roll my eyes. _Drama queen_, I thought. Evie's man walked toward her, causing her to cock it as a warning. Yet, he kept walking toward her. Narrowing her eyes, she raised her gun to the roof of the abandoned house, and fire one shot before locking back on the man.

"Cas, stop!" the guy at the end of my sleeping back hissed. This caused him, Cas, to halt in his tracks.

Cas looked over at the man. "I wasn't going to hurt her, Dean. I was just going to grab the gun from her hands."

"Yeah, well in my experience? People with weapons do not want them removed from their hands, Cas!" Dean turned to look at me. "Look, can we drop the weapons and talk?"

"Nope," was my immediate reply.

"Ok, look-". I have no idea what he was about to say because he started to put his hands down, which my brain took as him getting ready to point his gun at me. Self-preservation had me pulling the trigger.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean

To be fair, I never should have reached for anything in my pants pocket while having a gun directed at me, because the next thing I know, white hot pain exploded in my shoulder and all hell broke loose. I fell backwards, causing my head to smack the hard, tiled floor. Another shot sounded in the empty house and I could hear the girl who shot me yell to another "Evie! What did you do to her?" A war cry sounded and then everything went black.

My head was pressed against my chest and there was a dull ache in my shoulder. I felt it again, a small slap to my face. Opening my eyes, I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my vision. Getting my eyes to focus enough, I could see two of the three girls standing around me. As I sighed, I felt the ropes and realized I had been taken. A muffled voice to my right told me that Sam had also been captured…and gagged.

"Dean?" Cas questioned. I looked over to him and could see he had been trapped in holy fire. "We should prepare better next time."

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I replied, sarcastically, "Yeah. Thanks for the advice, Cas." I twisted to look back at our capturers. As I did, the one who shot me was in my face. She had very green eyes to compliment her freckles, I noted. And those same beautiful eyes were filled with worry.

"How are you feeling? Are you ok? I really didn't mean to shoot you, but I mean, you scared me. So, I patched you up the best way I know how, but if there is any-hey!" the other girl standing behind her, grabbed her shoulder and pulled her away from his face, leaving a coconut fragrance.

"Get out of his face, Dee."

"Dee" stood up and clenched her hand. "Stop calling me 'Dee'!"

"'Lydia' is a mouthful. Dee is better." The other responded.

"Yeah, well me putting my fist down your throat is also a mouthful."

Whatever the other girls retort was going to be was cut off by the third girl swinging an angel sword as she skipped over to join the rest of the group. She had a ripped jean skirt over black leggings, a black ACDC shirt, and purple converse. Her dirty blonde hair has streaks of purple, bringing out her sapphire blue eyes. I recognized her as the girl who had her gun on Sammy. "Well," she said, "I was able to put the wards up. There are a few I can't do, though." She passed the angel sword to Lydia. "Help?" She asked.

Throwing a dirty look over her shoulder, Lydia snatched up the sword and stalked out of the room. Everyone watched her as she exited. The new one, who just walked in, looked at everyone. "This is the army they sent out to retrieve something? Pathetic. Evie, you and I could have done a better job with our eyes closed, hands tied behind our backs." She smirked at Dean. "And we would have made it out unharmed."

Evie grinned at her companion. "Too true, my friend." She tucked her light brown hair behind her ear, where Dean could be a bruise on the side of her forehead, then walked over to her bags and pulled out a gun. Checking to see if there was ammo, she held it out to the other girl. "Honors?" she asked.

The other girl rubbed her hands together. "Lace likey!" She snatched it out of Evie's hands, cocked the gun, and aimed it at Sam. "All right, pretty boy, what were you and the other two musketeers looking for?"

"Seeing as he is gagged, lady, I don't think he can answer you," I told her in my snarkiest voice.

She sighed and turned the gun on me. "I know, dude. I was going for ironic, but now that the moment is ruined…Evelyn? Can you please be a dear and ungag this peasant for me?"

"Excuse me? You can't go over there yourself and do it? What do I look like? I do not cater to you, bitch." With being said, she reached into her bag again and pulled out a PowerBar. Ripping it open, she took a large bite.

Rolling her eyes, Lace walked over to Sam and pulled the cloth from his mouth. Stepping away a few feet, she turned the gun back on him. "Ok. Now, now you can tell me what you were looking for."

Sam looked over at me and I moved my head slightly, left and right, to indicate that there was no chance in hell we were telling these bitches anything.

"We were looking for a book," Sam lied. The girl raised an eyebrow.

"A book? You come in here, with an angel nonetheless, looking for a fucking book?"

"Language!" Evelyn told Lace, half the PowerBar already scarfed down.

Lace looked over her shoulder. "Bite me. I am a grown woman of 22 and if I want to say 'fuck', I will say 'fuck'. If I want to say 'suck my balls, bitch, I will say 'suck my balls, bitch'. Hell, should I feel the need to say-"

"Whoa, ladies. Calm down, now. No need to fight over us," I laughed. Apparently, neither of them was amused.

"Can I just, I don't know, shoot him this time? Lydia got a chance, why can't we all take turns?" Lace asked her friend.

Evelyn shook her head. "Dee would kill us if we shot and killed him now. She just patched him up. You know she hates wasting supplies. Wait until he is a little better. Then, I give you my blessing to shoot him."

"But I would not give you mine," Lydia replied, coming through the doorway. "And, besides, these guys could be useful to us. If we play it right, naturally." She set the angel sword on a sleeping bag. "They tell us what they were here for?"

Lace sighed. "Not exactly. Pretty boy," –pointing to Sam- "said that they were looking for a book. However, I never trust anyone, so I think he is lying. Besides, we do not have any book that anyone would kill for."

Lydia nodded as she took it all in. Making eye contact with me, she walked over and knelt down. "How is the shoulder?" she asked softly.

Oddly, I felt a misplaced sense of trust with this Lydia girl. Sure, she shot me, but if the roles were reversed, wouldn't I have done the same?

"It tweaks a bit, but nothing I can't handle."

Her shoulders relaxed a bit. "Good. I stitched people up a few times, but nothing this bad. I was worried I did something wrong. Guess we will find out when you're deformed." She laughed. Hoisting herself off the floor, she stood with the other girls. "Ok, guys. Now, let us be truthful. What were you really here for?"

"The Angel Tablet," Cas told her. I would have freaked out on him, but his next line threw me off. "But you already knew that, because your demon friend here already told you," he finished and indicated to Lace.


	3. Chapter 3

Lace

My eyes widened at the angel. I feigned horror as I looked to my friends. They exchanged a look and faced me with mock faces of terror, then backed up from me, hands in front of them. Lydia tripped on her bag and fell on her butt with a small yelp. Evelyn extended her hand and helped her up.

"Holy cow, you are clumsy. If this were a real scenario, you-"

"-would be dead. Or worse, I know." Lydia brushed off her pants. "It was an accident, sheesh." She turned her green eyes on me. "I'm surprised you didn't have a remark to add to my ever growing humiliation."

I grinned. "I did, but I held back…decided to save it for later. No use wasting a good insult on one measly fall. I will wait until you really screw up, just to make it worse."

Evelyn and Lydia shrugged and regrouped with me. Turning back to the angel, I stuck my tongue out. "Unlike you, I don't keep secrets. They know who I am." Causing discord among the masses was one of my many talents. I was taught that if I could get the bad guys to start questioning their team, they would start to question their mission. When you did that, you can basically whoop some ass without breaking a sweat. If I had done that last night, then things would not have gotten out of hand.

I bit my lip and recalled the previous events. The wounded dude, Dean, had reached for something in his pockets, but Lydia flipped a shit lid and shot the guy. The tall man to his right took his eyes off me to watch Dean fall. He started forward, but I fired a bullet right in front of him, halting his advances. Evelyn had just been distracted enough to have the angel walk up to her, touch her head, and make her pass out. Lydia became defensive and leapt toward Cas, knocking him over. I heard her yell something, but the exact words were lost on me as I locked eyes with my enemy. He was making quick glances between Dean and I. I raised an eyebrow and kicked him right in the knee. The Jolly Green Giant fell like a tree and I was able to grab my shirt from last night that was sitting right beside my bedroll. Faster than he could follow with his eyes, I slid behind him, yanked his arms around to his back, tied his hands together with the shirt. Grabbing his collar, I pulled him back on his butt, grabbed another shirt (Lydia's I believe) and tied his feet together. I would have stopped there, but I was afraid he could tell I wasn't exactly human and exorcise me. So, I placed a precautionary gag around his mouth. When I was finally able to help Lydia, she didn't need any. The angel was in his circle of holy fire and Lydia was shaking Evelyn awake.

Back in reality land, Dean and Sam shifted in their binds at the mention of keeping secrets. This had me wondering if I had touched a nerve. Too bad I was never a good listener, so I chose not to ask and subject myself to the sob stories of a bunch of pussies.

Lydia cleared her throat. "Anyway, we don't have no 'angel tablet' or whatever."

Cas, apparently, thought otherwise. "This was the exact location I received to find this tablet. It is here, whether you have it or not."

"Cas," Dean hissed.

"Puh-lease. We don't want your stupid fucking tablet. We have problems of our own," I retorted. Evie grumbled at my cursing, but I chose to ignore her on the count that I gave no fucks.

My victim snorted. "And what is that? What are you going to wear to prom?"

I pulled a knife from my belt and pointed it at him. "It will be your skin if you keep it up, lady."

Lydia put her hands up. "Aight, children. Calm down, now. Put your horses back in the stables, because mine is bigger. Look, guys," she said to Evie and I, "we need to let them go, eventually. We need to keep moving to out run…things," she finished lamely.

I took this into consideration. "I say we pack up, and then let them go. Actually, we will let Cripples McGee go first, since he does not look fit enough to fight anyone. He can let everyone else go while we high tail it out of here. Just assurance that you won't get pissed enough to kill us," I told them.

The girls nodded in agreement. Lydia decided to ask the guys how they feel about this idea. Dean shrugged his good shoulder. "Sounds good to me. No one gets hurt and no one is going to die."

"Oh!" Lydia exclaimed. "I will also leave bandages for that shoulder and I'll write down instructions of what you need to do for the next week to prevent any infections."

"And deformities," Dean added with a smile.

She laughed. "And deformities," she confirmed.

"As touching as this flirting has been, girls? Pack up!" I yelled.

Packing quickly and efficiently has been second nature for as long as I have been topside. There are never chances to stop and take a breath, because other demons, angels, or worse could have found out about us. Sure, it sucked, but it was better than hell and what choice did I have? I was a shitty human when I was alive, but I was going to make up for it now by keeping two key players to this world class bullshit board game alive. Even if it meant my own life had to be given.

I snuck at glance at Lydia and Evie as they packed. It has been two years since we met and two years on the run. Each of us would have gladly given our lives for the others. We were friends, the best of them, and sacrifice was part of the job description.

Evie was finished first, seeing as she packed the least amount of weapons. Grabbing her duffel bag, her backpack, and sleeping bag, she walked out to the car. As she was leaving, she jangled the keys three times. Three minutes and she was leaving our asses here to rot. I was always competitive, so I started packing with a fury, hoping to beat Lydia. Low and behold, the bitch was done first and smirked at me as she headed out to the car to stow her things. I hated being last for a few reasons, one being that I had to do one last check and another being I got shit for it for days. The worst part, though, was realizing that my favorite shirt was wrapped around this tall dude's hands. Demons wards preventing me from using all my powers, so I could not put his ass to sleep the magical way. In the end, my life was worth more than a damn article of clothing. I made a mental note to stop at the nearest Hot Topic to pick up another Iron Man shirt.

Lydia walked back in with her hands full of medicine, gauze, scissors, and a towel. "These are you for, Mr. Dean." She set a piece of paper from her pocket on top the pile she made on the floor. "Instructions for usage."

He smiled at her and, from the looks of it, it was more than friendly. "Thank you, Lydia."

She shrugged as she smiled, which I knew meant she was secretly thrilled about something. "No problem. Again, sorry I shot you. It was nice seeing you and my phone number is on the instructions in case you guys ever need anything. Now, Lace? As I leave, I'll undo the ward by the door. I assume you'll meet us in the car?"

I nodded. "I will…if you take my shit." I pointed to all the packed bags on the floor. Groaning, she picked them up.

"Nice to meet you and see you in the car, missy." With that, she left.

I waited until I heard the car start off the gravel. When I felt that the distance was enough, I walked over to Dean. "No funny business and everyone walks away clean. Got it?"

"Yeah yeah. Deal. We owe you for not killing us, so we won't kill you. Even if you are a demon."

I snorted and undid his hands enough to allow free movement. "That is all I can do to assure I stay alive. Peace out, bitches!" And I vanished.

I appeared in the back seat of our dark blue VW bug; a gift from Evie's parents years ago. "All is well, I assume?" Eve asked.

"Yup yup! They are busy doing their thing and we are going to do our own." I poked Lydia's shoulder. "You still got that tablet?"

Spinning in her seat, she rolled her eyes at me and tapped her forehead. "Not exactly like I am going to lose it."

"Whatever." I worried my lip between my teeth. "How long until they find out that it isn't there?"

Eve shrugged and checked the rearview mirror. "Guess we'll find out, huh? Until then, though, angel charms need to be made to hide us from that Cas guy."

We all nodded in agreement and settled into a comfortable silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Cas

Dean finished stamping out my holy fire prison in a fair amount of time. Sometimes, it was exasperating to be caught that easily, simply surrounded by fire, but it is what it is. I took in the old creaky house. "We should split up and each takes a floor. Dean, you take this floor; Sam, you go upstairs. I'll do the basement."

"Whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Shouldn't we first see if there is anything else in this house? We surely did not expect Josie and the Pussycats to be here. Who knows what else is here."

Sam nodded. "I have to agree with Dean. We don't want any more surprises."

I gave them a flat look. "When we reached the house, I said that there were three humans inside, but they were, most likely, the reason we were here. It turned out not to be so. I did not feel anything else. We are safe," I assured them.

They shrugged simultaneously. "All right. I'll finish this floor and you and Sammy can do your thing. Yell if anyone finds anything. And Cas? I'll undo a few angel wards." And with that, we split.

Seeing as the angel wards were still up for the time being, they would not let me search everything in an instant, so I was going to have to humanize the task until Dean did away with them. Holding back my sigh of irritation, I descended the stairs to the basement. There were a few old rusty shelves with scattered boxes stacked upon them. A dusty book shelf sat in the back. The wood must be rotted, because it leaned a tad to the left. Dirt and grime covered the concrete floor and an old, musty, pink, flower print couch sagged sadly in the space underneath the stairs. Rolling up the sleeves to my trench coat, I opened the first box.

Nothing, but papers. The second and third boxes were the same. The fourth and fifth box held children's toys. Four boxes held china and silverware, but no tablet. Resigned, I searched the book shelf; nothing but moldy books relating to horses, dogs, and other various animals. I could conclude that the tablet was not down here.

Back upstairs, Dean was finished and also came up empty handed. When Sam rejoined us, he didn't have the angel tablet, either. "I was told it would be here."

Just then, I was no longer in the house. This room was completely white: the chairs, the walls, the floor, and the desk, in which a fair haired woman sat, also in a white suit. "Castiel. We have a problem," she stated.

"I agree. You were incorrect about the location of the tablet."

She frowned. "Not, I was correct. You let it slip from your fingers."

"The girls have it," I said dumbly as realization dawned upon me.

"Now you need to find them to get it back," she commanded. "Also, I was informed they have some tricks up their metaphorical sleeves. Be warned."

"And what tricks would that be?"

"Tricks? Cas, what are you talking about?" Dean asked and I could see I was no longer in the woman's office.

I shook my head to clear it. "Nothing. So, the tablet isn't here. We were made fools of. Those girls did have it."

"I was starting to think that," Sam told us.

Dean looked confused. "We watched them pack their bags. There was not a tablet, book, or any suspicious package. Where would they have hidden it?"

"Their car?" Sam offered.

"Ok, let's check there." I headed toward the car and waited for them to follow. They grabbed the medical supplies and joined me outside. Dumping everything in the trunk, Dean opened the driver's side door.

"Can you pinpoint them?" he asked me. When I nodded, all he said was "Good" and climbed in. When we settled, I told them we were headed east to a town called Dustin.

Two hours later, we reached the town. Dean looked back at me in his rearview mirror. "Are they still here?"

I checked and nodded. "They are eating at a restaurant called 'Debs'. I believe they are staying the night here."

"How do you tell that?" Sam inquired.

I pointed at the town's hotel, The Dust Inn, parking lot where a blue Volkswagen convertible rested. Dean took a hard left and pulled in. Parking his car around the back, Dean suggested we stay here tonight as well. No one disagreed, so a room was ordered and we asked the office manager for directions for Debs. Sam and Dean put their supplies away while I demon proofed the room. After this, we headed to the diner.

It was fairly uncrowded when Dean, Sam, and I entered. Searching the space, I spotted the red head sitting by herself in a booth, elbows propped on the table. She held a phone in one hand and was nonchalantly chewing French fries as she texted. There were two other plates on the table, meaning the other two girls were around. I indicated to Dean of her whereabouts. He smiled, elbowed Sam, and together, we walked over. Sam and Dean slid into the seat across from her. At first, she didn't look up.

"That was the fastest I have ever seen the two of you get business done. I thought you said she would fight you on your decision, but never mind." She shrugged.

"I do not have any idea what you are talking about." Dean put his elbows on the table and leaned into them.

Lydia dropped her phone and it clattered on the table before ending up in the seat beside her. "Dean!" she squeaked. "H-h-how did you f-f-find us?" She asked, nervously glancing around.

"Should have gotten charms to block you from angels," Sam sang.

"Funny you say that, because Lace and Evie were doing-"

"Where is the tablet?" I demanded, cutting her off.

Groaning, she slapped her forehead. "That is what this is about? We already told you that we don't have your stupid tablet."

I slapped the table with both hands, startling her and causing her to look up at me. "You are lying, Lydia Townsend, from Chicago. Tell me where it is."

Dean stood up and threw my hands off the table. "Easy, Cas. Scaring her isn't going to help anyone."

My anger was getting the best of me and I knew it, but it was hard to control. "We need it, Dean," I hissed. "We need it now. She has it and she knows it."

Dean opened his mouth, but behind us, a snarky voice interrupted. "Well what do we have here?" I turned to see the demon girl tapping her foot, with her arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

She looked the same as she did four hours ago. Her blue eyes were locked on mine and I noticed how pretty she truly was. When no one answered her, her hands moved to her hips. "Excuse me, but are you struck stupid by my beauty or something?"

Evelyn snorted and said "Or something.", but I answered with a "Yes."

Lace's face fell to shock for a brief instant. Then she glared. "Oh. Hardy har har. Hilarious. What are you losers doing here?"

Dean decided to take this one. "We know you guys have to tablet and we need it."

"Lace," Evelyn said, "I think these guys are brain dead. I could have sworn we told them we didn't have it. Maybe I'm just delusional."

"Huh…" Lace pretended to stroke her invisible beard. "You know, that sounds about right. I remember saying we did not have their tablet." Then she shrugged. "Hell, who knows. We may have entered an alternate dimension for a moment and imagined we told them this."

"Or aliens took over their bodies and they don't remember. Either way, we should ask if it feels like they have been probed."

Lace cackled. "My bet is that the angel and the cripple were-"

"And you're so done, Lace." Lydia interjected.

"Girl, I was just getting started. Lucky this is a public place, though."

"I'll toast to that. Anyway, the musketeers are here, because they think we are lying."

"Would we lie to you guys?" Lace asked us.

"In a heartbeat," Dean told her.

She laughed off the insult. "Touché…"

Sam became a little agitated. "Enough fooling around here, guys. Where is it?"

"Just a tad touchy…" Evie noted.

Lace looked thoughtful. "…demanding…"

"…nearly always frowning…"

"…doesn't like to take orders…"

"…must have Daddy issues." They concluded in chorus.

Sam slide out of the booth. "I'll be in the damn car."

Evelyn leaned into the now empty seats and grabbed her belongings and handed Lace hers. Lydia packed her stuff up as well and threw a twenty and some ones on the table. Lace and Evelyn linked arms and sauntered to the exit, Lydia following. "Sorry we could not be more help, fellas," Lace said over her shoulder. She waggled her fingers at us and left.

The second they were out the door, Lydia ran back over to us. "Mary Winslow's park around midnight. Just you, Dean. I'll tell you everything you need to know. Come alone or I'll walk away for good." And she ran back to her friends.


End file.
